some refinements

proposed/secession_from_broadcast.md

@@ -13,37 +13,39 @@ Can host ppl    : na
 
 It's time to travel to the edges because this is where the interesting stuff
 happens.  "What is popular" is rarely a question that helps finding edges.
-In this talk round i'll recap what i learned in 15 months of my
+I'd like to recap what i learned in 15 months of my re-juvenated and
-re-juvenated and re-energized quest into decentralization and what it
+re-energized quest into decentralization and what it might mean.  
-means.  
 
-For one, I'd like to present a question from Gene Youngblood's
+For one, I'd like to forward a question from Gene Youngblood's
-"Secession from the broadcast" lecture [1]: "how can we create on the
+[Secession from the broadcast lecture][1]: "how can we create on the
 same scale as we can destroy?".  Gene suggests we need to move away from
-the "Audience nation" by becoming "political actors" instead of
+the "audience nation" by becoming "political actors" instead of
 "interested spectators of action".
 
-Second, I highlight a thought from Adam Ierymenko [2]:  If full
+Second, I paraphrase a thought from Adam Ierymenko's [I want to
-decentralization is technically too hard currently, can we construct and
+believe][2]: If full decentralization is technically too hard currently,
-make use of a **Blind Idiot God** (BIG) instance which co-ordinates some
+can we construct and make use of a "Blind Idiot God" (BIG) instance
-communication but can not abuse it or even understand what's going on
+which co-ordinates some communication but can not abuse it or even
-precisely?  
+understand what's going on precisely?  
 
-Lastly, how can we create sustained systems and products if we
+Lastly, I wonder how can we create sustained systems and services if we
-don't want to imitate the centralized web service cash cow model?
+don't want the centralized web service cash cow control model?
 As Laura Kolbag [3] pointed out recently in Nuernberg, paying
 for software might not be so bad if the "free to use" models 
-mean surveillance and centralized control. And she suggests
+mean surveillance and centralized control. And she notes
-that design and useability should drive Open Source software 
+that design and useability should drive open source developments
 instead of features and options.
 
-The edges are where we encounter the others, those who are somehow 
+The edges are where we encounter the others, those who are somehow unlike.
-not like us.  It's a place where i easily run into fears.  At the edges
+It's a place where i easily run into fears and look for friends.  At the edges
-there is no central authority suggesting what to think or do next.  The
+there is no central authority suggesting what to think or do next.  And
-number of people at the edges is by definition lower than in the center.
+the number of people at the edges is always lower than in the center.
-But it's where things can happen.  Secession from the broadcast.
+But that's fine, this is how things get moving as i've experienced
+myself a number of times now.
 
 [1] http://www.secessionfromthebroadcast.org/2013/10/29/secession-broadcast-internet-crisis-social-control/
+
 [2] http://adamierymenko.com/decentralization-i-want-to-believe/
+
 [3] https://border-none.net/2014/scene-setters#c81